Fidget is actually my Fitbit (www.fitbit.com) As mentioned before he goes virtually everywhere with me (like a cat, he’s opposed to being underwater). I was introduced to one of his friends that goes everywhere with my friend, MBG. Let’s be honest for a sec, I’m
slightly, mildly, kinda-sorta, freaky competitive. Not in a Keep Up with the Neighbors way, because that’s just sorta warped, but in an “I can beat the numbers” way. So MBG who is also slightly, mildly, kinda-sorta, freaky competitive has this goal of getting 10,000 steps per day on her Fitbit. I’ll have to find out if she named hers and get back to you. I named my Fidget because the little twerp has that impact on me. Have I mentioned that I’m screamingly ADHD? If the ADHD test is one that you want to flunk, I passed it with flying colors. Top of the class. And I’ve got this job where I’m supposed to sit at a desk or in a conference room or in a board room for hours at a time working on a computer.
Enter Fidget. I was sitting at my desk on one long
, long, unending conference call with my Backstreet Boys headset on a few days ago. I couldn’t work on anything because analyzing data would be too big a distraction from the long conference call. The phone was on mute unless I needed to say something and then Fidget got fidgety and said (I swear) “Take me for a walk!” and that’s when I realized that I was wearing a long-range headset and took Fidget for a walk. We logged over 600 steps on that conference call! If I could tell something was coming up that required my input, we cruised back towards my desk, un-muted (de-muted?), walked in circles around my big, leather, executive desk chair (because I am, in fact, a big, leather, executive) until I could mute the phone again and off we went. Fidget had a grand time. If I’d figured it out faster, I bet Icould have logged 1,043 steps on that conference call. ::sigh::
How did my relationship with Fidget the Widget start? I’m an unrepentant gym rat on good days (this is good for managing both ADHD and PTSD). I’d just gotten back into the gym a week after rotator cuff surgery, was
surviving loving my beloved elliptical when I got an email from the gym. The January special was 15% off the Fitbit with free shipping. Woohoo!!!, said ID. [ID is my best, most entertaining friend, Impulse Driver]. ID got excited at a level that’s not legal according to our corporate policy. ID remembered a bad case of Geek Envy over MBG’s Fitbit. Her Fitbit is in an online relationship with MP’s Fitbit. I ordered Fidget faster that I can order from McDonald’s drivethru (which , as you may know, is fast – but I didn’t have to drive to order online). And then I had to wait for Fidget to arrive. Ground ship. Fidget was crate-freighted to my door. Poor little guy – it’s really cold in my neck of the forest.
The day after I ordered him, I noticed this weird marble under my ribs on the left. Self, I asked, what is that? Self replied “FIIK?!!?” which isn’t real nice, but mostly stands for “if I know”. Over the next 4 days, the marble grew to the size of a big hunk of granite. Under my ribs… Again, I asked, “Self? What is that?” and Self just groaned and said “F. Ow. F.” Somewhere in the midst of that discourse, I decided twas time to call in Dougie the Doc. It seems that I’ve decided, FOR SCIENCE, to try having Shingles and Mono at the same time. Really? No way. Off he sends me to the local imaging joint where I’ve had joints imaged 3 other times in the last 7 months (different post – be patient) to get an ultrasound on my spleen (now named Dammit Granite*).
Dammit Granite comes back listed as “Unremarkable”
Wut? I’m NEVER ‘unremarkable’, but I suppose it’s a good thing in this case. Dammit Granite is not my friend. I’d like to keep him as a body part though – just a smaller one!
How in the world do Fidget the Widget and Dammit Granite tie together? I develop a relationship with Fidget just as I’m banned from the gym. I’m lucky to hit 4,000 steps in a day (at ‘leisurely stroll’). I have yet to hit the desired magenta with Fidget showing “very active” and I can’t even enter into the competition with MBG and MP’s Fitbits BECAUSE I DON’T STAND A CHANCE! Dougie the Doc said “leisurely stroll and no, you can’t do that on a treadmill. Stay the hll out of the gym until I tell you otherwise.” ID just growled, but Self said to ID, “If Dammit Granite gets any madder about this situation and blows up, all of us land in the hospital under some carving knife.” and ID said “Oh.”
So, my body thinks I’m both 17 (Mono) and 70 (Shingles), my ADHD is running rampant because I’m not in the gym, and Dammit Granite is smirking under my ribs. Fidget is sleeping with me, riding shotgun clipped to my jeans, and whining about the day he can finally hit the Holy Grail of Magenta.
And I have to keep Fidget happy, right? So I clipped him to Jamie Furball’s collar and let him ride with Jamie while Jamie chased his favorite toy, Mr String. Fidget got his ONE MINUTE of Magenta and came back to me. Fidget is loyal like that.
ID, on the other hand, said “W00T!” and order 3 more Fitbits so that Fidget the Widget can have friends.
I can’t wait to see what happens when I start logging Jamie Furball on his own little widget.**
Lab Assignment: this week, my assignment was getting blood sucked in someone else’s lab (I blame Dammit Granite). YOUR assignment is to go to www.fitbit.com and ask yourself, “Might this little geek toy tell me a LOT about what’s going on with my body?” Make sure you read the part about how it uses Wii 3-dimensional tracking and isn’t just a pedometer. For Science, I proved that a bit ago when I was sorting the laundry and folding stuff (and not walking around). I still didn’t hit the Holy Magenta Grail, but it showed some activity in excess of sitting around doing nothing.
*10 points if you can name the song and the show that is being parodied; get it right and I might post the parody lyrics. I used to do summer stock musicals and learned the joy of good backstage parody. 20 points if you can tell me the show that spawned “Poor Wandering Nun” and “A Pair of Ducks”
** Fidget is so small that it didn’t phase Jamie Furball in the least to have it clipped to his collar, so don’t sic PETA, Greenpeace, or the ASPCA on me. THIS IS FOR SCIENCE!!!